Was he really worth her time, her anger, her love? Did she love him? Of course not, she couldn’t, and never will (?) She had told him she loved him many times before, but she did not mean it. She didn’t love him (the fellow who took her virginity) the fellow from her childhood, or that last fellow she had. She had love for them, but to love them? That’s beyond her. She just liked having him around; him speaking about her whether it be in anger or in love; she liked the attention. When he did ‘go’ she became sad and found herself thinking about him and the fact that he really could be over her. Did she want him back? No, of course not; she just wanted him to want her again. So she’d talk to him again in a very friendly manner; she made it impossible for him to forget her. She just wanted to be remembered ,by a guy she had been with, forever. The thought that she could break this poor fools heart over and over again brought some anxiety to her , but with an easing and pleasing aftertaste. She knew the only way to avoid another heartless heartbreak was to go away, both mentally and physically. She didn’t like his pain, but she enjoyed it like some love thirsty harlot. She couldn’t break his heart again, renew his pain, the way they’d both move on is by her going away; across the country away.