And so she read on his blog, “Why can’t you FUCKING understand that I just want to be around you for these next couple of months before you leave?! I know I’m not exactly the type of person you want me to be but fuck, like me for who I am…I’ll stop drinking and smoking for you but just please, let me be with you!” He doesn’t know she read that; it may not have her name in it but she knows it’s for her. She knows he secretly wishes she does read it so she could give him a call. Something about him made her so weak, she could go back to being ‘friends’ with him in seconds. She was a contradiction; she loved him but she didn’t, she wanted to be with him, but she didn’t; by now she convinced herself she couldn’t. She wanted to believe that he had changed, but she saw no change in him. Everything he ever told her about changing was only temporary. He ‘changed’ to get her back, and as soon as he got her back, he’d bounce back to his old ways or lie about what he was doing. So she loved him? Which one was it? She didn’t even know; she just knew that she simply couldn’t, and because of a new fellow, she wouldn’t.