Every summer they’d spend at the pool, they’d stay all night, all nine of them. When the water got too cold, they migrated to the warm bubbling spa; they’d huddle and look at the stars, seven boys and two girls. One girl would turn away from the stars and gaze at her friends, she’d think and ask to herself, “Will we be forever? Will we always look at the stars together on warm summer nights?” A story about friendship, became a story about love, then a story about love became a story about living.

They’d walk home barefoot, warming themselves with the warm pavement; they’d depart and wait for tomorrow to be together once more.    

 This girl, the one with the questions, was falling, falling for a boy with no questions at all. This boy would spend every day with her, with the rest of their friends too; this boy had no questions about anything, he just existed. How could they be, she wanted to know the future, she wanted to know what her life would be, she worried about what her life would become; he never wondered, in fact, he didn’t want to know, not even a little, he was scared to know. Keep in mind they were very young; children with no idea what the real world was like, with no knowledge of the things that matter in life.

They’d spend every day together, there wasn’t a minute in the day where they weren’t touching in some way; he loved her but wouldn’t confess it, she loved him and would always stress it. He was a child, scared of so many things; she was a child, ready to take on anything. She’d beg, plead, “Confess it, I know you love me.” He’d reply, angry at the sight of her crying, “I can’t.” She grew tired of his games, and soon he’d go away. He’d leave from place to place, leaving her behind, she always remembered him, she always kept him in mind. The nine friends that once were, became less, about two fewer. They’d still hang out, the friends I mean, she’d keep him in mind, she could never stay focused; the future she always thought about, she thought it with him, she’d always think, “I’d throw it all away just for him. It’s alright, he’ll mature.” He came back one day, and he was exactly the same; he left again, then returned and they met somewhere along the way.

When he did come back, it was a little too late, she had found someone else, but she still kept him in mind. Seeing his face again changed it all, it brought everything back; those warm summer nights, sleeping in her bed. By the time he came back she was invested in her future, she didn’t see her life with him or any other, and he thought exactly the same, “if something is meant to happen, then it’ll happen when it’s my day.” She dropped everything for him, everyone too, the love she felt for him was unlike any other. He realized with her, there is no living, she was his future, one with a happy ending, and he would only bring her down, she realized this down the road, though still children, they made love for the first time. She opened her eyes to the man this boy would be, and the friends she had would only last so long, but they lasted longer than he. She saw the future with and without this boy, she compared the two, he would only bring her sorrow and no joy. This boy had no thoughts, none of his own, he was looking for a mother, to baby him and accompany when he’s alone. This time it was he who begged, begged for her to love him, and she’d cry, “It’s too late, you waited for me to open my eyes.” She saw history repeat itself, living in a mobile home with kids that’d fall in love with others and it’d just keep on going, she didn’t want that, she had big plans; he didn’t care, he never did, he wanted to do nothing, not even live. Now this girl is on her way to live life in a most amazing way, this boy never left those summers, his head is an empty shell, all he hears is her name echoing off every wall. She sometimes thinks, “I could still throw it all away, I could be with him and forever stay.” But that isn’t the life she wants to live; some people, they stay the same, they’re too scared to have a mind of their own, too scared to live on their own, they’re too scared to grow up, too scared to fall in love, but a nice secret is, everyone is scared, but some people rather live than exist.